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HELP ANDY ACHIEVE HIS DREAMS – IBD SUFFERER NEEDS HELP TO KICK START HIS CAREER.

Today on StomaStories I will be sharing with you a story about a young man named Andy and his battle with Crohn’s Disease and how he wants to fulfill his dreams and kickstart his future of doing front line ambulance work.  Andy is looking at training to become an ECA (Emergency Care Assistant) or AAP (Associate Ambulance Practitioner).

 

Andy is a 31 year old Cornish man, born in Penzance now living in Truro. Andy has had bowel issues from a very young age, he has spent a lot of time in hospital when he was three years old. Doctors claimed his bowel issues at such a young age was due to the stress of his parents splitting up. Throughout Andy’s battle he had to regularly visit his GP having numerous of blood tests done, he was put on Anti inflammatory tablets which Andy states; ” The anti inflammatory tablets made me worse.” His blood test results would never show anything wrong they always came back ”OK.”

When Andy left school he wanted to join the British Army he claims that he did sign up but unfortunately left training due to personal reasons. Andy says ” I always planned on going back to the army but due to my poor health I couldn’t physically or mentally do this.” Andy eventually got fed up with the Doctors telling him everything was ”OK” because Andy didn’t feel well at all. They didn’t listen to Andy when he told them his pain had worsened and has now developed other symptoms due to these tablets he was prescribed. Andy’s pain became that bad he phoned up his Doctors and demanded to see another Doctor, there was a locum Doctor on call that day at his surgery so he got an appointment to see him. Andy states ” My grandfather had drove me to the doctors, I was so scared as the pain was that bad I didn’t know what it could be and I knew that the pain I had been having most of my life wasn’t all in my head as the GP had been saying. I was sat in the waiting room crying the pain was that intense and I was struggling to take pain killers, I hated taking tablets or the sight of needles. ” Andy explained to the locum Doctor all of his problems; abdominal pain, watery bowel movements, passing of blood in stools. The locum Doctor after examining Andy admitted him into a surgical ward in West Cornwall Hospital in Penzance. When Andy arrived at the ward he was seen by a gastro specialist and a surgeon. They talked through options and discussed things with Andy whilst putting him on IV pain killers to help his pain.  The specialist told him he had been booked in for blood tests, stool samples, x-rays, CT scans and a colonoscopy. Andy states: ” I didn’t have a clue what the colonoscopy was and when I was told I wasn’t too keen on having that done but I was in so much pain that I would let them do anything they wanted to so we knew what the issue was.”  The specialist told Andy we hope its none of the three c’s (Crohn’s, Colitis or Cancer.) After Andy’s tests he was finally diagnosed  with Crohn’s Disease.

Now please take the time to read below the rest of Andy’s story in his own words and why he needs your help to kick start his career. 

I was happy to finally know what was wrong with me and so treatment could start but I was wrong, the doctor said to me I need surgery. He told me that he wanted to try and make me a bit better before taking me into theater and so surgery was booked for the 5th of January. I didn’t know anything about Crohn’s disease and so the specialist pointed me in the direction of the NACC which is now Crohn’s and Colitis UK. Crohn’s and Colitis UK were amazing to me and provided me with information about the disease, about what to expect in surgery, what treatments are available etc. I didn’t realize just how much of an effect this would have on my life. In the lead up to Christmas I was getting very poorly but I refused to go to hospital as I knew I was having surgery in the early new year. Unfortunately my body didn’t like to wait that long as I collapsed on Christmas Eve on the way home from a family party, my friend that was with me called an ambulance but as it was Christmas Eve and there was a lot of drunk people out so the ambulance service was very busy. Just short of an hour later the ambulance arrived but I don’t remember much of this as I wasn’t totally with it. I hadn’t had anything to drink at the party, the ambulance crew took me to West Cornwall Hospital and then I had more tests done on me in A&E before being moved to the surgical ward in the hospital . I was told that I would be staying in for Christmas and New Year with the possibility of having surgery between Christmas and new year it just depended on whether there was emergency cases that had to have surgery before me. I was allowed home for a couple hours on Christmas Day and then returned to hospital after Christmas dinner and that’s where I stayed till the 10th January. They operated on me on the 28th December and even though my recover wasn’t good after a number of issues I was happy because they had removed the bowel that was bad and I should be able to go back to being normal. When I came home I did everything the hospital told me and rested. After a couple weeks I was feeling better and managed to return to work and back to playing football again. Football is a big part of my life, I could be either found watching or playing football. I was a goalkeeper so I didn’t rush back to playing as didn’t want the blows to my belly. Sadly nearly 4 months after surgery the symptoms started coming back and again they got really bad, my IBD team started new medications to try and get it under control fast to stop me getting worse. They tried a number of medications of which none of them worked on me. They then changed treatment to infusions, then injections again both failed and by this point it was 18 months post surgery. I had again given up work and my hobby to focus on my health and to get better as by this time my first child had been born. My daughter was born in may and then my IBD team told me they wanted to operate again to take out he bad part and rejoin the bowel again. I refused this option as my daughter was so young and I wanted to help my partner out in caring for our daughter and I didn’t want my partner having to do everything for our daughter and then having to look after me as well. I agreed to have the surgery when my daughter was 4/5 months old so she is a bit easier to look after for my partner. I ended up having surgery again on bonfire night, the 5th of November. The surgery went well and I was recovering in my side room, then all of a sudden I started being sick and I couldn’t stop being sick, the more I was sick the more the pain came on as I was using my stomach muscles that had just been cut when I was being sick, after a couple days this passed and then a couple days later I was discharged and allowed home. Between going into hospital on the 4th of November and Christmas Eve I was only home in my bed for one night, each time I went home I would get bad again and be rushed back in. Finally they got me under control and I went home and enjoyed my daughters first Christmas and my first one with my partner. Then again after a while I went back to work and playing the sport I loved, football. I wouldn’t say I was completely pain and symptom free during the next number of months but I was better than I had been for most of my life but again this was short lived. I started to get bad again in early 2014. Again we went through the process of tests including colonoscopy and treatments but nothing was working, shortly after I got bad again we found out my now wife as got married the year before was pregnant, again this made me make my mind up and turn down surgery till my son was born and a little bit older, My son was born on Halloween, 31st October. I agreed I would have surgery 4/5 months later. I managed to have a good Christmas with my wife, two children and also my gran and my father as they came to stay for Christmas. Sadly in February 2015 my wife and me split up and the day that happened I was taken into hospital due to the pain being so bad and because I was having so much watery stools I needed IV fluids. I was kept in a couple days and then allowed home, not that I had a home to go to as I told my wife she could have the house and everything in it as I wouldn’t make my children homeless. I went to stay with a friend for a while and slept on sofa till I found somewhere to live, my Crohn’s Disease was continuing to get worse and worse and one day in late may when visiting a friend on the surgical ward at Derriford Hospital in Plymouth my pain got really bad and I started being sick. The nurses then helped me into a wheelchair and took me to A&E where I was seen by the Gastro on call doctor, he told me I was being admitted onto the surgical ward that I was on when this happened. After a couple days they managed to find me a slot in theater to have surgery. Before surgery I had a visit from the stoma nurse and she went through everything I needed to know about having a stoma, she gave me a pack with samples of the bags in, a lot of information and a couple other things, she also stuck a bag with some fluid in it onto where I would have the bag so I could get used to it for s couple days. Then came the day of surgery, I was first on the list which made me happy as I hate waiting around to go into theater. The stoma nurse came back to see me and took the bag off me that I had been wearing for a couple days, she marked where they will fit the stoma and then I was taken to theater, I was in theater a lot longer than I was due to be and then had some issues while I was in recovery and finally got back on the ward at about 17:50. They had given me pain killers and made me as comfortable as they could, the next day I was allowed to start eating which was great and I was starving but I was surprised as was 4/5 days before I could eat at previous surgeries but I wasn’t going to complain, then two days later things were going well and so the doctor said I could go home the next morning, my body had other ideas and I started being sick but it wasn’t just sick it was what is meant to come out the other end, this continued for hours, I had IV fluids and anti sickness but it never works. About 3 am the doctor came to visit me and said he wants to put something up my nose and down to my stomach to drain off what’s in there to try and stop me being so sick but due to a previous bad experience I didn’t want it but I tried but kept having a panic attack so this was stopped. This continued for two more days, after two further days of being in hospital but not being sick I was allowed home. After a while I returned back to work but I had decided to retire from playing football as I couldn’t handle the blows in my stomach and so I applied to become a referee, I was put forward for the courses but I got poorly just before the first one and this happened s fire the two times before I finally managed to get on the course and complete my referee training, I’m currently a level seven referee but I am being promoted to level six very soon. I have always tried to make sure my illness doesn’t control me but at times it does, I was working as a security officer along side the refereeing and I was sub contracted to a company as they needed staff and while I was with them I took on more work and then joined them properly and so work for them direct, they also run a medical/private ambulance company. They spoke to me about training to be an ACA (ambulance care assistant) as security work gets less over the winter but the ambulance work is still busy but I told them I couldn’t afford to retrain and so they made an agreement that they would cover the cost and pay it back out of my wages. I never for one minute growing up thought I would be working on an ambulance but when I started I loved the job, I don’t do front line ambulance work it’s moving patients all over the uk. I would love to complete my ECA (emergency care assistant) or AAP (Associate Ambulance practitioner) course but I have Ken thing standing in my way, the ambulances I currently drive are smaller than the ones they currently use on front line and so I can drive in a car license but now I need to complete my C1 class driving licence now before I can apply to the ambulance service for a job, if I get s job with the ambulance service then they will cover the costs of my medical training and also my advance driver training otherwise known as blue light training. To complete my C1 class driving it’s going to cost roughly £1000 after I have done the theory and hazard perception, had a medical and then three days training and then the test. I have been saving for this but it’s not easy to save when you have bills to pay etc as I’m on a low income. There is the possibility I won’t be accepted to the ambulance service straight away but if that’s the case I can still work privately as an ACA and can also then drive the bigger ambulances the company I work for has allowing me to do different jobs like driving a very sick patient with a paramedic in the back, but I will make my dreams come true and work the front line ambulances soon. Also if I am not successful with the ambulance service straight away then I will try and cover the costs of medical training myself but the courses are between 3/12 thousand depending on whether I do my ECA or AAP. I am trying to show people that even if you have a chronic illness like I do, it’s not the end of your career dreams. I know everyone is different but I don’t want this illness to stop me doing the things I love like getting my dream job working on front line ambulances or getting as high up the referee ladder I as can. The refereeing will be health depending as I have to undergo fitness tests etc. The only thing holding me back from my dream job currently is getting the minimum of C1 driving licence so I can apply to the ambulance service for a job. I have applied for grants from different places but not sure I will get them. My partner has set up a crowdfunding page to try and help me get a step closer which has had some donations on which is amazing. So what I’m trying to say is don’t give up on your dreams, there maybe hurdles in the way but it will be worth it when you get what you want. And maybe one day you may see me on the TV refereeing, Joking, I would love to but it depends if physically fit enough to pass fitness tests the higher I go. Don’t let a chronic illness stop your dreams coming true. May take longer but you will get there.

ANDY TOOK PART IN THE LONDON MARATHON AND RAISED £5000!

In 2006, I ran the London marathon in memory of a friend that passed away and raised £5000 for a local hospice as they cared for him in the final weeks. I ran the 26.3 miles around London with no training and during a Crohn’s disease flare which I wouldn’t recommend to anyone. I wish I had trained because I couldn’t walk properly for weeks but I completed it in just over 5 and a half hours, this was one of the proudest things I had done. I have over the years raised a lot of money for charities and had a number of roles within local charities like area fundraising manager and shop manager for one and the other I was a co-founder of.

WITH A CHRONIC ILLNESS DEPRESSION WILL STRIKE 

Since my teenage years I have battled depression due to my health, it was all started when my GP wasn’t listening to and saying it was all in my head and over time this got me down, I tried to hide things from people but people close to me knew I struggled at times. In 2006 in early December I was our drinking one night and I was really down, I couldn’t see a way forward, I got very drunk and with depression this isn’t a great idea, as I left the pub where I was drinking towards the end of the evening I said good bye to my cousins that were working there and my good friends and went home. When I got home I found all of my medication, I took the tablets out and when I had enough I took them all, luckily for me the cousins and friends worked out something was wrong and called the police and ambulance and the rest I don’t remember much of other than my door being kicked open, then being half way down the stairs of the flat and then waking up in ICU in hospital. I was in such a bad place back then and have still fought depression over the years with the help of doctors, medication and counselling, I found ways of dealing with it and coping. That was the one and only time I have been that low and since that day I have fought depression but now I have ways of coping for example, not bottling things up, that’s doesn’t necessarily mean I talk to someone a I find that really hard, I often right things down on the notes section of my iPad or text someone which I have found really helps. I haven’t taken any pills to control my depression in nearly 8 years, this was when my daughter was born, she gave me a reason to fight on, yeah I still have my down days but I will never let things get so bad as I did all those years ago, I now have a son as well and when I am down as I said above I write things down, I have a cry and I think of my two children and fight on. You could have a big family, loads of friends and an amazing support group around you which does help but living with IBD can be very very lonely at times, when your up most of the night crying in pain when the painkillers aren’t working, when you can’t sleep because too much going around in your head or the pain is keeping you awake or running to the bathroom all night. My family and friends have been amazing throughout my battle with IBD and I would be lost without them so a support network is a massive help, when I have also found helps for depression or feeling low or can’t sleep due to the symptoms of IBD is the number of support groups that have been set up on Facebook. I have made a number of friends through these pages who I talk to regularly, and we organize get togethers as much as possible.

Problem with going out and having IBD is that you never know when it’s going to flare up and going out has to be planned so you know where the toilets are etc. I often have to cancel plans because I am flaring or am so drained from every day life I can’t go out. IBD is much more than what a lot of people think it is, it’s much more than a pooing disease, the pain is unbearable at times, you get tired quickly, you could visit the toilet 15-20+ times a day, you can get depression plus a number of other things. Then there are the side effects of the medications we take to try and keep our IBD in remission or as symptom free as possible, it’s often treated with steroids which causes a number of issues including weight gain and mood swings which when your already depressed isn’t good at all, we have a number of hospital admissions for treatment like infusions or tests like MRI scans or colonoscopies. Then because of IBD it can cause other problems like low iron and B12 plus many more. Your social life becomes nonexistent due to constantly changing or cancelling plans, you can’t do simple things with your children without it causing more problems later that day. So next time you think someone with IBD is being lazy because they can’t get out of bed or fall asleep on the sofa just remember they aren’t battling there own bodies each day and then having to take a number of medications that cause more issues. In the worse cases they need surgery to remove some of all of there bowel so they have a bag which are a lot better than they used to be but they still have there own issues for example, the bag could leak or burst, or the area where the bag is attached to the skin can get very sore plus many more issues. If you don’t know about IBD please just ask one of use about it and most people would be more than happy to tell you about the disease. Don’t judge people and don’t say things like I have a friend with that and they can do something that you can’t or I know how you feel because I have IBS as IBS is completely different and things like my friend got cured of IBD but changing there diet, there is NO cure for IBD.

ANDY HAS STARTED A CROWDFUNDING PAGE PLEASE SUPPORT HIM ANYWAY YOU CAN EVEN AS LITTLE AS £1 EVERY DONATION IS A STEP TOWARDS ANDY’S DREAM. 

It states below Andy’s target and reason for crowdfunding.

”This is my crowd funding page my partner set up for me. Current target is £1000 so I can complete the C1 driving tests etc. Anything over that would be used for medical training if I need to do it myself if unsuccessful at the first interview and anything not used for my training will be donated to the charity that’s supported me so much over the years since I was diagnosed, Crohn’s and Colitis UK.  Www.crowdfunder.co.uk/andyeca

Helping Andy achieve his dreams!

Andy, 31 from Cornwall seeks help to achieve his dreams.

 

Thank you to my bloggers and anyone this post reaches for taking the time to read about Andy’s battle and also share his story so he can reach a wider audience to help make his dream come true!  Please donate if you can it is for a good cause!

 

 

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Pam K from Illinois shares her story with us about her battle with IBD.

Pam K from Illinois has kindly shared some of her story with us, my aim is to take people’s stories and experiences and share them with the world and raise awareness. As an ostomate myself I suffer with many illnesses so I can understand most of the stories i read. It is annoying that we get stick for the way we look or the things we do and how people think we exaggerate our pain when we don’t, we battle each and every day to survive – the pain is unreal!  We have to stand together and show people it’s OK to be disabled, we are still beautiful strong human beings. We are never alone in this, the IBD community is amazing we always get each other through – together we unite together we fight –

Now please take 5 minutes to read about this women’s journey.

Pam’s story happened ever so fast as it was acute. She was diagnosed with IBS almost 20 years ago, flash forward 20 years and now Pam was told she had UC after tests and numerous appointments with GI. She was placed on a type of steroid called Prednisone, and also started Remicade treatment. Nothing was helping her, she claimed it made her feel worse so she was took back into hospital. She was in extreme pain, had lost close to 30 pounds and stated: ” I felt as if i had a food grinder covered in razor blades going through my colon”

They were then able to do a full scope and see the extreme damage that had been done to her colon, they determined that it had not extended into her small intestine but they still was not sure if it was UC or Crohn’s. None of the medications or treatment was working so it was said that her colon needed to be removed and an ileostomy placed.

Pam then went on to suffer even more, having developed sepsis she was taken back into hospital. For three more weeks she fought to get better she was placed on TPN to help healing and strength, she also had drains and a picc line. They finally decided that she had Crohns Disease. As time passed Pam started to get used to and accept her new lifestyle. Now she states: ”Frankly I am perfectly ok with the ostomy. After being in such horrific pain for over a month I wanted nothing to do with my colon! But it’s still an adjustment. Shoot I came close to dying on more than one occasion in these very short 3 months! How does this come on so severe and so acute?”

Living and coping with a stoma is very hard but benefits of an ostomy can help many people have a better life than they did. Pam says: ”I am eating well, my stoma is finally completely healed and doing as it should. I am hoping that when I go back to UofCM on the 12th my drains can come out. I am hoping I will be done with the TPN within the next week and that when I go back on the 17th to see the TPM team they can pull my PICC line. Being home has helped tremendously in my healing as after being sick for so long and spending so much time away from family you begin to become depressed, you begin to not care if you wake each morning or not. Mind you I am grateful to be alive after this ordeal, but i still struggle, I’m still afraid with what ifs. I”m thankful to not be alone and reading others stories as been a welcome retreat. thank you for the opportunity to share my story.”

That was an insight into the life of a fellow crohnie. Pam is a very brave and courageous women, thank you for sharing your story with us and may whoever take the time to read this story please pray for Pam, thanks and God Bless you.

 

NEGLECT IN A TIME OF NEED

A friend set up a go fund me page and i need some help to gain awareness please share

FIGHTING MY HARDEST BATTLE

As i lie here on my sofa writing this each press of my keyboard is literally like the feeling of being in a car crusher. Every slight movement is now causing me such pain all my bones hurt i have dropped form 54kg to a shocking 44kg in the matter of a month! But i wont give up raising awareness. 

I went to hospital yesterday was really looking forward to it as I believed this time they was going to help me. Little did I know it would be the worst time visiting my gastro team. I had an mri scan a few weeks back so I was awaiting results however they told me they did the wrong scan they didn’t scan my bowels just my pelvic area. I was frustrated I am waiting for my bowel to be scanned so I can continue with an emergency operation I was due last year however they have basically told me to suffer and that I may not get funded for new treatment that I desperately need! Even tho i need an emergency ileostomy I have been put back on a very long waiting list all because last year I was pregnant so they couldn’t operate but I lost my daughter due to an ectopic the same month due operation ever since then ive got weaker by the day and I dont know how much more I can wait, each day is getting harder for me I feel like death. I dont understand how they can leave me to suffer like this. Its now affecting my mental health as I dont want to be here suffering in such pain every second of the day!

A friend of mine created a Go Fund Me Page to raise awareness and see if anyone would be willing to help me get better care and my operation faster. This made me feel like some people do actually care about me as my hospital clearly dont.

I would really appreciate anyone that can share my page to raise the awareness as I need a bigger audience to help me get the correct care. 

https://www.gofundme.com/gemmasbigbattle

My 5k run in aid of crohns and colitis

I participated in a 5k run in aid of Crohns and Colitis UK as I suffer very bad with crohns. I raised a lot of money and had an amazing experience.

Colour Obstacle Rush UK Liverool 2016

The 5k run for an amazing charity was worth the battle it took me to do it.

As a sufferer of crohns disease I took part in the 5K colour obstacle run at Aintree Race Course in Liverpool may 2016 to raise awareness and funds for the amazing charity Crohns And Colitis UK. I chose to fund raise for this charity as they have done so much for me and many others who suffer with crohns and colitis. They helped me gain my confidence and made me never feel alone. Thanks to them I now have a massive network behind me I have spoke to thousands of inspiring people we have shared our experiences and helped each other with problems. I now have many close friends i call crohnies they are like family to me every year we all try to attend as many events and meet ups as we can but being chronically ill plans never work out too well. But I made it to this event! I hope I can take part in many more over the years.

You can watch a video of my 5k run here CLICK TO WATCH VIDEO

If you would like to help and maybe do a good cause for the new year you could donate as little as £1 by clicking on the link. Your donation would mean a lot to thousands of people like myself who suffer with crohns and colitis. SPONSOR ME DONATE TO CCUK

Post Traumatic Stress Dreams?-Me Myself and PTSD

Read my latest struggle with PTSD and also check out some info about this condition.

POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DREAMS

Me, Myself and PTSD

As some people know I suffer with PTSD due to all the traumatic events I have been through in my life. Well I would just like to state that PTSD is one of my worst enemies to battle it truly breaks me down. Over the past week I have been suffering terrible flash back nightmares of when my ex used to beat me, my fiance told me that I was screaming, whimpering and scratching in my sleep. The first two times it happened this week I could not remember when I woke up what my dream was about but I felt angry and violated and knew I had some sort of traumatic dream. I vaguely remembered screaming but I didn’t know why until today when I suddenly awoke. This morning I was starting to get anxious I felt it in my sleep. I felt my heart racing, my body fidgeting around I was currently in a horrible dream of my ex standing above me beating me in a corner. It was horrible it was of a time that happened around three years ago. He had kicked off on me and was smashing my house up. I rang the police as he was on a restraining order and I was petrified of him but he convinced me to let him hide and he was sorry, so as I do I obeyed him and fell for his sweet evil lies.

He hid inside my bed as I have a storage underneath, police looked around moaned at me for wasting time and left, but they should of noticed something was up as I was giving off strong signals they haven’t looked everywhere. Once they had left he came straight out of hiding and switched like I had never seen before, screaming ”you phoned the police on me” I was crying saying ”you said it was ok and you would never hurt me again” he threw me up against the wall spitting in my face strangling me. This abuse went on for hours in to the early morning one point I tried to jump out of a window till he teared my dress and dragged me back in as I tried to get out and screamed for help. It got to around 8am and I had to ring an ambulance as I was having panic attacks and abdominal pain from where id been hit. He left the house when I rang for help and returned pretending to be a friend when they arrived. There was no escaping him he scared me so much. I never understood why he did what he did but for some stupid reason I loved him and always thought there was good in him. Our story is a bit like beauty and the beast but however now im out of it all i see is the BEAST.

After suddenly awaking I then realized all week my dreams where of different events I went through, I had just got these images out of my head whilst awake and now they are haunting  me in my dreams. The 6 years of abuse I went through I will clearly never be able to forget as they were so traumatic to me, however I will try my hardest to not let these flashbacks affect my present any more. I figured I need to replace a negative with a positive as that is the best way I deal with negative thoughts. To get positive thoughts back in my mind I need to do something positive so I decided to finally start planning my wedding. Yes I am getting married! My fiance saved me from my dark days he truly is my prince charming and my hero, I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with the man who always cares for me always protects me and helps fight my battles. There is not a day that goes by where he dont treat my like his queen and make me smile. One day I will beat PTSD just like I will fight all my other illnesses. 

If you think you may suffer with PTSD I would advise you get help from your GP. 

PTSD is an anxiety disorder caused by very stressful, frightening or distressing events.

A person with PTSD often relives the traumatic event through flashbacks and nightmares, they may also experience feelings of isolation, irritability, anger and guilt. Some people who suffer with PTSD tend to have sleeping problems, such as insomnia, and find it difficult to concentrate. These symptoms are often severe enough to have a significant impact on a persons day-to-day life.

Events that can cause PTSD include:

  • Prolonged sexual abuse, severe neglect or violence
  • Witnessing deaths
  • Sexual assault, personal assault
  • Serious road accidents
  • Being held hostage
  • Terrorist attacks
  • Natural disasters

PTSD can develop immediately after someone experiences a disturbing event or it can occur weeks, months or even years after. There are a few treatments available to help people with PTSD such as taking anti depressants and attending psychotherapy.  

 

I myself am currently taking anti-depressants I have been on and off citalopram a very long time so far it hasn’t really helped me much. However I am yet to attend psychotherapy I have a meeting with a mental health team in February so I am hoping me talking about my issues and learning to understand and control them will help me with my depression and PTSD.

ptsd

pts

ptsd3ptsd4ptsd5ptsd6ptsdddptsss

 

 

 

 

New Year New Start

who can keep this years resolutions?

NEW YEAR NEW START NEW ME…

So every one is shouting about their new year resolutions, but how many people can in fact stick to them throughout the remainder of the year? I can honestly admit that I have never stuck to one single resolution in my life. Its the year of 2017 and I truly hope it holds many happy days, health and wealth to all. We believe that each new year we get a new start to change things in our lives, we all want to move forward in life and preferably not stick in the past so with that change becomes a new you in my case a new me.

future.jpg

So what does 2017 hold for me I hear you ask? Well I am hoping this year I can start to get my illness under control so I dont feel like im dying every other month and take control of my mental state. I am due to be married on the 6th June this year, hopefully I dont have to postpone due to being so ill. Also I am going to look into some herbal and Chinese remedies to try and improve my health as I have never tried natural remedies before so I will be sure to keep a blog about my experience trying them. I have many appointments coming up regarding my physical and mental health so lets hope 2017 is the start of the road to recovery and some sort of relief for me. I wish everyone the best for year 2017 and every year yet to come.

 

wedding
The view for my wedding is perfect
wed
The entrance to my wedding

 

wed2
At night it illuminates everything peaceful beautiful serenity.

 

This year I will fight my biggest battle and do everything in my power to be as strong as I can be to fight as much as I can and hopefully by the end of 2017 I can turn around and say I achieved some kind of goal whether it be fighting my demons in my head or hopefully better physical improvement I would love to start 2018 healthy as can be and mobile. Here’s to 2017 may it be a speedy recovery and healthy year for everyone.

 

 

Maggots at a local restaurant

Maggots dropping from above and all below the table at The Farthings Pub.

Me and my family popped out for a meal but to our horrors our food was not on the table but something living and crawling was. We had been waiting a long time for our food and im glad it did take long otherwise my step dad would of had maggots land in his food and he probably wouldn’t of noticed and eat them. We was just sitting there having a drink whilst waiting for the food when my step dad got up to go the bar as he left the table my mom noticed two bugs wriggling around I walked around to his side and realized they were maggots I looked under the table and there was loads on the floor i was heaving to myself like this is so disgusting I am not eating here. As i finished looking under table another one appeared on top of the table so now there was three on the top of the table what did it do come from the ceiling? How did they drop there! And why is there so many on the floor! We asked for a refund and got the hell out of there. They tried to say they had a funeral in yesterday and the kids had sweets everywhere the cleaners must not of cleaned properly. If I remember correctly maggots only come from  rotting meat or dead bodies. I wasn’t hanging around to eat the food, if the lounge isn’t clean i dread to know what the kitchen is like. I wont ever be going back in there again. I dont think that would of done my illness any good!